Listening

Alan alda on listening

Listening is paying attention to someone with your whole self. It is not just hearing with the ear, but with the heart, the mind and the body. And in some instances, the soul. In order to see, understand and influence patterns in systems, listening is a crucial skill, for it is in the nuances and shadows of what is said that patterns for shifting and for asking questions can best be found. What is obvious remains obvious. What is missing, or what is not said, or what remains silent and small and nearly invisible, comes up when you listen carefully for the patterns of avoidance, deference, glances cast, leaning, or pursed lips.

Listening is realizing that there are at least ten possibilities creating challenges in communication between any two people. But they try anyway…
What I think;
What I want to say;
What I believe I said;
What I said;
What you wished to hear;
What you believed you heard;
What you heard;
What you want to understand;
What you think you understood; and
What you understand. (from Lynn Doiron Smith)

Listen for the [4 Truths]. Look for [CDE]. Stand in [Inquiry] while searching for the patterns with similarities, differences and connections. Listening will get you there.